I knew that they believed it was good and necessary to be unhappy about whatever they believed that applied to, generally them not getting what they wanted. This was the way people chose unhappiness as a feeling. Feelings ranging from mild annoyance to murderous rage; from disappointment to suicidal depression. The belief that unhappiness is preferable to happiness happiness being seen as some form of being crazy , or the belief that not being unhappy was contradictory to a personally held value, is the dynamic of all unhappiness. I describe it like this, no person is afraid of being poor, in itself, but of being an unhappy poor person. No person is afraid of illness, but of being ill and unhappy also.
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We are searching in our own personal ways. Some of us are looking for that perfect relationship with a loved one or the satisfying career. Whatever our desires we usually look outside ourselves for help to attain them. In varying degrees, we feel that we need something more than what we already possess spiritually or materialistically before we can be really happy. Some of us get closer to it than others.
Often a life threatening illness or the profound loss of a loved one becomes a turning point in our lives, a pivotal moment, when we make a conscious choice to be grateful for what we have and live life to the fullest. For some, as the routines of life return, this awakening remains in the heart and soul, like a gift from God, but it slips from the grasp of others. How can we hold onto happiness in all its forms: contentment, joy, gratitude, peacefulness, bliss?
I invite you now on a journey, your own personal expedition to discover personal wisdom and happiness. To begin this journey, we must first start where we now are. To get in touch with ourselves, our true happiness and spirit, we must begin by removing the layers of beliefs that conceal it. This is an easy and painless process when we use the Option Method questions. Sometimes we experience ourselves as a living contradiction.
How is this possible and how can we end it? The Option questions will help us to identify and to clarify, and thus expose to the light the current mistaken belief that is clouding our vision and obscuring the truth that already resides in our hearts. It is in our very nature always to desire happiness.
God gave each of us a soul which burns like an eternal flame with this desire to be happy. At other times it is obscured by our fears and hesitations.
Depending upon our currently held mistaken beliefs, we may simply just not feel right or we may be in total despair. The Option Method Questions So where do you start? I suggest that when you ask yourself the following Option questions, you should either write them down or say them out loud. This will help you to keep track of your thoughts while you become more familiar with the questions.
All you need is your natural desire for happiness. Be patient with yourself. You have spent a lifetime acquiring and cultivating beliefs, which you never realized before, are actually contrary to the wisdom within you. The purpose of the Option questions is first to help you to identify and clarify exactly what is bothering you. The questions that follow expose the belief behind your emotion or bad feeling. There is nothing to memorize or study. You are your own best expert.
Substitute the word unhappy in this question for one that best expresses the bad feeling you have that you would like to change. For instance, you may be feeling worried about something. Narrow it down. You need to narrow it down and be as specific as possible. The closer you get to the core of your feelings, the closer you become to your true heart. The second Option question will help you to do that. The purpose of the questions is to help you get in touch with your reasons.
This brings us to the next Option question. This question prompts you to recognize that you have your own very personal reason for feeling the way you feel. Often we get so caught up in our emotions that we have completely forgotten we are not actually feeling this way against our will. This wonderful, simple question gives you a renewed opportunity to begin your own self-enlightenment. Perhaps you are not aware of any reason. You may feel somewhat dumb struck or stuck. This is a natural phenomenon that takes place as we become more aware of our true selves.
At this time we are on the threshold of self re-discovery. When this happens, it is time to move on to the fourth question. Repeat it a few times. Ask again. Until now, you have not exposed or questioned your reasons. It does not matter. What truly matters now is that through this question you embark on your own spiritual adventure. Take your time. Be satisfied with your answer. Use the questions as a tool, a flashlight, to light the pathway back to the truth in your own heart. Like the taste in your own mouth, only you can experience it and really know it.
You have spent a lifetime establishing and developing beliefs that you have never questioned in this way before. The Option questions, though seemingly simple, are new and foreign to you. These kinds of beliefs are at the core of all unhappiness.
When it comes to our bad or undesirable feeling, the particulars are as varied as we are, but the operating principles behind our feelings are fundamentally the same. If you believe something is bad, you feel bad about it. If you believe something is good, you feel good about it. You are now on the threshold, about to take a new step towards being who you want to be. Remember, you are your own best expert. My invitation to you is to use the Option Method to rediscover your personal wisdom and happiness.
Apply the Option questions to those emotional problems you have right now and you would like to solve. Once you lighten your negative emotional load you will be freer to feel however you want to feel, that which is most natural for you to feel, whatever is right for you.
We will then be able to see more clearly who we really are and how we really feel—happy.
Option Method Network
Bruce Di Marsico created the Option Method some time before He taught many people from all walks of life for over 27 years. Since his death in , his students and their students have continued to share and teach Option with people worldwide. What are the Option Method Questions? The Option Method Questions are: What are you unhappy about?
Both roots are quite appropriate for the name of the method whose goal is to serve by helping people to realize the role that personal choice plays in their emotional states. Recognizing that what he was searching for was not within the confines of the monastery, Bruce began to find his true calling while studying psychology and philosophy in the s at Seton Hall University, New Jersey. Years later while at work as a psychotherapist, and human relations consultant, he came to develop the Option Method as a self-help tool to help people become happier in their everyday lives. You can now hear Bruce discuss the Option Method questions and reveal how asking these questions help uncover judgments and beliefs that stand in the way of happiness. Find out more about the audio CD. Since then the Option Method has been taught to teachers, psychologists, therapists, social workers, clergy and other Option Method Master Teachers as an additional tool in their professions. Above all, Bruce created the Option Method to help people help themselves to find their deepest wisdom and happiness.
We are searching in our own personal ways. Some of us are looking for that perfect relationship with a loved one or the satisfying career. Whatever our desires we usually look outside ourselves for help to attain them. In varying degrees, we feel that we need something more than what we already possess spiritually or materialistically before we can be really happy.